:: letter to an angel

dear joel:

what do angel wings feel like? what does jesus voice sound like? is heaven as wonderful as we all dream? i find solace in the fact that you will never know pain. or loneliness. you will never be rejected. or hungry. you will never get sick. you will never be sad. all you will ever know is love. and isn't that what we all dream of?

i am angry at the people who were supposed to protect you. to whom you were blessed. but i have to believe that they did what they thought was best. in an effort to protect you, they lost you. however, i know you aren't angry. your little life is perfection. you know eternal bliss.

it's easy to stay warm in heaven. it's easy to breathe. i can see your perfect face. your arms and legs that move. your face that lights up. your voice that "coos". i imagine you a baby in heaven too. but perhaps you are not. maybe you're a child. or a man. i guess it's irrelevant. i guess it's something i will find out later.

i feel honored to have met you. to have touched your face. i am only so sorry that i couldn't fix you.

love,
ashley

in loving memory of
baby joel
june 9th, 2009-june 9th, 2009