Tuesday, May 26, 2009

:: (not so) smooth criminal

i'm not sure any of you are going to believe what i did when I tell you. but i did it. and i admit it.

last weekend I posted the facts on my mom, her best friend, the wedding vow renewal and my journey to traverse city. well, this holiday weekend, that said best friend was bringing her little clan down here to detroit. in an effort to impress to the highest degree, i decided to give the bathrooms a real down-and-dirty scrub. no wiping surfaces with a clorox wipe. i mean the old fashioned rubber glove deal. on hands and knees. letting things soak. scrubbing. shining.

so i threw on some scrubs from work and gathered my supplies. most important of which was Michael Jackson's Number Ones cd. once that was blasting, I got to work. the stinging smell of cleaner was in my nose. suds were on my gloved hands. all the contents of the bathroom were successfully moved into the kitchen. and i was perfecting my moonwalk across the slick floors.

then i looked at the clock. time was getting away from me. people would be piling in soon. i needed to hurry up and get things finished. with my head in the game, i started working quickly. washing scum off of tubs. getting toothpaste splatters off of the sink. and then, finally, hitting the toilet.

this is where things get exciting. i used a thin white rag to get up under the seats edge and to scrub inside the bowl. when the whole thing was clean to my liking, i was at a loss of where to put the used towel. the floor was clean. the tub was clean. and i didn't want to walk all the way to the hamper because i still had to finish the sink. so i just draped the rag over the edge of the bowl and kept cleaning.

at this point, Michael was still hitting the high notes from the cd player, and i was making several failed attempts at joining him. i wasn't even thinking about what i was doing when i turned from the now-clean sink and flushed the soapy water down the toilet. i didn't even think twice. i just reached behind me and pushed that little silver knob.

it wasn't until i went back to retrieve my towel so i could wash it, that i realized it was gone. gone.
yes- i said
GONE! i successfully managed to FLUSH a towel down the toilet. something i think is only acceptable when you're three. and even then you get a lecture.

still, i couldn't stop laughing in spite of myself. i was on the floor in absolute stitches, actually. roaring from the hilarity of it all. so far there hasn't been any back-ups or clogs. so it's my hope and prayer that the poor little rag got washed right to sewer, and isn't caught up in the pipes somewhere.....just waiting to dislodge and get it's revenge on me.

so that's my embarrassing story from the holiday weekend. the take home message::

don't be lazy. walk to the hamper.

(i thought this was wildly appropriate in lieu of my blunder:::)

until tomorrow...


  1. Wonderful post sweetie and I laughed out loud. My girlfriend pretends to not know how to empty the dishwasher so her husband has to do it for her. Now how do I become that smart? xoxo